


Listen Before I Go

by pukeytyler (cherryblur)



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: M/M, Suicide, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 00:31:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18354917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryblur/pseuds/pukeytyler
Summary: “Where are you?”





	Listen Before I Go

**Author's Note:**

> tags

“Tyler,” He says real slow. “Where are you?”

Tyler’s feet dangle from the crisp ledge he sits upon. He blinks down at the river below him and wonders how cold it will feel when he hits it.  
“I’m on a bridge.”

He debates hanging up, but that would defeat the purpose of the term _cry for help_. Josh seems too concerned anyways. 

“Where, Tyler? I need your exact location.”

He swings his feet harder and feels them kick against the cement. “I dunno. Where are we? Sweden?” He’s trying to be real casual. He wants Josh to worry. 

“England.” 

He nods. “Right.” 

He can hear Josh rustling on the other end.  
“What are you doing?”

“Looking for the phone book.”

His free hand wipes drops of precipitation off the bridge’s ledge. Fog surrounds him in thick rolling waves and he feels comforted by the blanket.  
“Who’re you calling?” 

“I’m calling the police,” Josh says.

“Okay,” Tyler says quieter.  
“How will they find my body in all this water, Josh?”

Josh makes a choking noise on the other end and Tyler hears a female voice.  
“Is that Debby?”

No reply. 

He brings his legs up and crosses them underneath himself. “Is Jenna there? Can I talk to her? I miss her.”

“It’s just me and Debby, Tyler.”

Tyler’s jaw sets.  
“Oh.”

“Ask her how nice the ring feels,” He continues. “It’s beautiful, so many little diamonds; how did you pick it out?”

Josh tries to stall him. “I found her search history and picked one from her favorites.”

Tyler snorts. “Kinda cliché, isn’t it?”  
He doesn’t get an answer.  
“I’m sorry.”

“Your wedding is set for September, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“I wish I could be there. I love Autumn.”

Josh asks him to stop messing around and tell him his location. 

“I wish I could, Josh,” Tyler pops his lips and hears the echo over the fogged and lifeless land around him. “I wish you could see this. Where I am. S’beautiful.” 

“Tyler, please don’t do this.”  
Josh has resorted to begging. There’s strain in his voice and cracking in the way he tries to reason Tyler off of this stupid fucking bridge. 

Why, out of all places, will he die in England?

“I’m sorry,” Tyler feels tears prick his eyes and he hates that. He hates how Josh could rip these types of emotions out of him and make him think that maybe, just _maybe_ it could be worth climbing off.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, just-please, think about the fans. Think about Jenna-think about me, Tyler.”

_Think about me._

“I do,” He replies. “I think about you all the time. I think of how I could’ve been the one to hold your hand for longer than a laugh, or kiss you in those secret moments when we were that close.” He talks like a groom giving wedding vows. “I think about how selfish I was to wish misfortune upon your marriage, just because I was too scared.” His voice cracks on the last word.

He’s always so, so scared. 

Josh sounds confused on the other line.  
“What are you trying to say?”

“I’ve always been the smart one, haven’t I?” Tyler laughs at this, wipes away his pity tears and sniffs in the dull, wet cold.

“Jenna knows. Jenna,” Tyler stops to shake his head and laugh because damn, Josh has got him monologuing. “Jenna always knew.”

“Knew what, Tyler?”

“Knew that I loved you.”

There’s a lot of silence.

Tyler takes his phone away from his face and puts it on speaker. “I gotta go now, okay? I’ll see you soon.” 

Josh starts to shout through the receiver, pure blurry nonsense that he doesn’t hear because his nose is tingling from the cold and he makes sure to take his jacket off before facing the water below him. 

“Tyler? Tyler, fuck-“

“I’m gonna miss you,” He says. “I really am, Josh.”

He stands, staring at his feet until he’s at the very edge.  
It’s so beautiful down there.

”It’s not your fault,” He says for the last time. Josh can’t hear him over the sound of his own hysteria.  
But what will he do? He doesn’t know where he is. He planned this all too well.

All Tyler can think about on the way down is how cold Debby’s ring must feel.

**Author's Note:**

> this was sort of a vent fic  
> sorry


End file.
